I like dull work.

i was standing in the middle of my cpl branch looking at yvetta as she looked back at me. “are we the only one’s here?” i asked. she blinked at me, “we don’t open until noon.” that is when i realized i was at the wrong library. i was supposed to be in the suburbs an hour and a half before. this is when i stamped my foot and screamed “fuck!” tara answered the phone and i breathlessly told her i was headed there now now now. she had not even noticed i was supposed to work. i remember when i was hired being told the ways to get fired are embezzling money, showing up to work drunk, or missing a week without calling. these were all things employees had done with some regularity in the past. the preferred way of quiting the suburban library has been to just stop showing up. when i got there tara fudged the schedule to make it look like i was supposed to start work at 10:30. no big. this is what happens when i spend the better part of my night teasing the girl i like about liking me back.

today scott handed me a folded piece of paper with the bid application for a city job. this is something i keep mulling and he keeps pushing me toward. i know i want to continue living in chicago, but after working in the burbs i weigh the money i would make working for  the city vs the peace and quiet of the suburbs. peace and quiet not just from patrons but also from administrators and the municipality. the worst thing that happens in the suburbs is the circulation system goes down or a patron won’t leave at closing even though we have turned out the lights on them. under our desk we have a panic button and the only time its been used is when an elderly gentleman fell down in the family restroom. in the city we call the cops at least once a week - a patron has been drinking rotgut out of a mouthwash container and is now passed out on the floor, someone is smoking crack in the bathroom, one patron has pulled a knife on another patron. i know that working at cpl has contributed to my new and improved numbness and disregard for human life. we can argue another time about cpl’s use of cops and independent security contractors to maintain “the peace” 

this is a good thing though. my supervisors pushing me toward better jobs and even though i can no longer hang out with friends on weekdays i feel really happy with my life. now that i have mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes open at my desk, i am ready to scale to any height.